


Loyalty

by TrueRadicalDreamer



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Haruno Sakura, For Want of a Nail, Gen, Haruno Sakura-centric, Implied/Referenced Torture, My 13 Year Odyssey in Fan Fiction, No Beta We Die Like Ninja, Pre-Time Skip, Shinobi Politics (Naruto), Spy!Sakura, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:49:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29336319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrueRadicalDreamer/pseuds/TrueRadicalDreamer
Summary: A ten-year-old Haruno Sakura is put in the worst situation of her young life - being forced into working as a spy for an enemy village. As she navigates the mores of her new world, Sakura begins to realize that she is changing as a person and that she may not recognize who it is she is becoming.A story about personal responsibility, about the duties of a ninja village, and about the true meaning of loyalty.(Pre-Skip, Unapologetically Sakura-centric, 13 years in the writing)
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Hataki Kakashi, Haruno Sakura & Mitarashi Anko, Haruno Sakura & Yamanaka Ino
Comments: 31
Kudos: 63





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone. This a repost of my work, Loyalty, from ff.net. I'm going through each chapter and cleaning/rewriting small bits of them to update my writing style as I work on finishing this behemoth of a fic. It's taken up 13 years of my life, on and off, and it's nearly finished. The fandom has changed a great deal since then, and AO3 seems to be the new place, so I'm making an effort to reach a wider audience. 
> 
> I hope that you enjoy this, the longest-running Sakura-centric fic on the internet. It's a bit weird, it's a bit dramatic, but I promise it's at least an interesting read - if nothing else.

It was a horrible night to be lurking around.

Streetlights from the village below twinkled like a carpet of fireflies at the foot of the Hokage Monument, innumerable and blazing in her eyes. She wondered what all the people enjoying those lights were thinking about. Were they worrying over family? Their jobs? Dreading work in the morning? Were the children down there scared of things lurking in the dark? Having nightmares?

"Were you followed?"

Whatever nightmares they were having couldn't compare to the one she was living. The voice, sickly-sweet and placid, didn't come from one single direction. Even in the open air of the monument, it seemed to reverberate off nonexistent walls to reach her ears.

"You would know better than I would," she snapped, covering her unease with hostility. "I just want to get this over with so I can go back home. Do you want your information or not?"

  
There was silence for a long moment before footsteps echoed on the nearby stone. He was tangible now, at least. Not some monster that lived in darkness and shadow, ravenous in appetite.

"Of course I do. Please, give me your report."

"The council is meeting in two days along with the jounin. I don't think the chunin are going to be affected."

"And why is that?" he asked. A quiet beat later he added, "You are not being very helpful tonight. This is information my master could easily have gotten through hearsay. He would be very _annoyed_ if I only have that to report."

She stiffened. "Don't threaten me, Kabuto. If you want better information then you should have gotten a better spy!"

In the dim lights of the village, Yakushi Kabuto shrugged. Though whip-thin and lean, there was no disguising the coiled violence inside the boy from someone who had seen it in the wild. Even his bottle glasses were an act; there was no hiding the restrained, gleeful malice in his eyes as he reacted to the suggestion.

"I only use the correct tool for the correct job. A weakling like you can ingrain herself anywhere and be overlooked simply because of your insignificant existence,” he taunted. His polite tone was as much a mask as anything else about him - Kabuto’s sharp tongue could peel paint when he set his mind to it.

Then it dropped an octave. “I believe you are trying to conceal something. I had thought you had learned your lesson about that in the past. Perhaps our master will be less forgiving this time when I inform him?"

The girl bit into her cheek until she tasted blood. He was bluffing. Kabuto always lied.

 _Let him walk away_ , she begged herself.

But she was betrayed by her own body. She jumped up in a panic and caught Kabuto by the sleeve. Her skin crawled where her hand grasped him, but he stopped.  
She hated herself for the wash of relief she felt when he stopped.

"There is another rumor going around. They say that Hokage-sama is having problems with his health." Her breath was coming out in harsh, angry puffs. She clenched her fist as tight as it would go and hoped to god above that it would at least put a bruise on him. "That's **all** I know."

The smile that slid across Kabuto’s silhouette was enough to sour milk. He easily extracted his arm and reached over to run his spindly fingers through the girl’s hair. " _This_ is the level of information I have come to expect from you, Haruno-san. Our organization will be pleased."

Haruno Sakura’s hand twitched and her fingers couldn’t get away from the boy fast enough. She slapped his hand away from her hair, ignoring the little chuckle he gave her. “You make sure your master knows it was me who gave you that information! If you take credit for it, I swear you’ll die. I’ll find a way to do it!

The boy's smile didn't falter. "I wouldn't dream of it. The pertinent parties know of your contribution to our cause, Haruno-san. In fact, you have earned the reward you have been asking for." He reached into his pouch and pulled out a small, unmarked scroll. "You can make your own reports now, independent of m-"

She snatched it from his fingers before he could finish, clutching it to her chest like the most precious thing in the world - and to her, right now, it was.

"I will take that as your gratitude," Kabuto said, smiling. Smirking. He gave her a mocking little bow before he slithered back into the surrounding darkness like smoke.

Sakura held onto the little scroll with the desperation of a twelve-year-old who convinced herself it a ward against everything evil in the world. It was her key to get Kabuto out of her life. She would open it later, at home, where she was certain there were no prying eyes. Right now she just slumped down onto the ground and curled up on the cold stone of the monument, looking out over the village again, not really seeing it.

And her mind wandered, as it often did after a meeting with Kabuto. She thought about her position and wondered how it had gone so wrong. Every month she was forced to betray her village, her friends, and her family. Every month a part of her shriveled up and died, replacing itself with something foreign. Something cold that wasn't the Haruno Sakura she had grown up into, but a different Haruno Sakura that was unrecognizable.

A Haruno Sakura that scared her almost as much as Kabuto did.

Questions were becoming more pointed and prying. Something in the distance was building and twisting and winding up to a snapping point. And when the tension was too much, when it couldn’t hold the weight of her anymore, what would be left?

"Nothing," Sakura whispered. She clenched the scroll harder to her chest and let her mind drift back to the times before all this started, to when she was just a simple academy student and ‘ninja’ was just a far-off word linked to her future.

To a time over a year removed...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This "minor cleaning and posting" is becoming a full-on rewrite. The tone of the chapter hasn't changed, but a lot of the scenes have since the original posted on ff.net. 
> 
> It's a really great treat to see how much my writing has improved in 13 years. I'm not a great writer even now, but my prose and exposition is *miles* above what it was over a decade ago. I had to throw most everything out and rewrite it just to be happy, which isn't as bad a feeling as you might think at first. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy it!

**Loyalty, Chapter 2: One Year Ago**

_I am so late!_

Sakura weaved in and out of the usual morning rush on her way to the Academy. She squeezed past the mothers and their children window shopping, the late-opening merchants just wheeling their carts out into the street, and even managed to jump over an open manhole cover in her frantic rush to not be tardy. Today, of all days, she could _not_ be late!

Huffing and puffing, Sakura decided that she just had to sprint. The very next time the street cleared a tiny bit, the girl just started pumping her arms and going for broke. If people didn’t want to get bumped they would have to get out the way! Most people were aware enough to not run into someone wearing a clan symbol, but there were always the complete morning zombies. 

"Watch where you're going, brat!" some decidedly unpleasant, purple-haired woman yelled out as Sakura jostled her. 

Sakura couldn’t resist. “Suck a brick, you old bat!” she shouted, letting her true thoughts leak out. The woman shouted back something _much_ worse, but by then Sakura was already through the next intersection and not looking back. 

She saw the roof of the Academy peak out over the next street. _Almost there!_ Her legs were burning, but today she could **not** be late. Of all days, not today! 

“ _Welcome, Fourth Year Students!_ ” was written on a banner hanging over the gate. Of all the days to be late, today was the worst, because today she was starting her last year in the Academy. The last year of being a child in the eyes of the village, the last year of silly school cliques and schoolyard bullies, the last year of not being taken seriously by Sasuke-kun. If Sakura was a full ninja, she would _surely_ catch his eye. It would be a given, right? 

Maybe she could even get the second-best marks in the class (because of course he’d be first)? That would definitely get him to stop ignoring her! 

But to get those perfect marks she Could! Not! Be! Late!

Sakura slid the last few yards. She went right under the gate and then saw the final obstacle to her _Perfect-Marks-For-Sasuke_ plan. 

The schoolyard was full of construction equipment. Cement mixers and stacks of lumber. Construction workers and wheelbarrows. 

Sakura’s eyes narrowed. _For love!_ she thought, sprinting from the gate like a civilian athlete. She jumped over the first mixer, spun past a very confused bricklayer, avoided getting her new dress dirty by taking a running long jump over a freshly-laid cement sidewalk, and then, as the final act, ducked between the legs of at least three men in suits and hardhats looking over a blueprint who were blocking the front door. 

“Safe!” Sakura huffed, smiling. Quickly she still brought out a hand mirror and did a final check of her hair, dress, and face. Maybe a _little_ sweaty, but her new shampoo would cover it up. And her perfume. And the new fabric softener she had her mom use in the laundry. 

Some soft applause startled Sakura enough to drop her mirror. She caught it on the day down, but it wasn’t graceful at all and she felt her face burn. Thankfully it was just Mizuki-sensei and not someone horrible, like Ino. Still embarrassing for one of her teachers to see her preening.

Mellow as always, Mizuki walked up to her. “Very impressive footwork and evasion, Haruno-san. That would be full marks on the optical course. Were you practicing over the winter break?”

Blushing, Sakura put her hands behind her back and hid her mirror. “Maybe a little, Mizuki-sensei. I really didn’t want to be late for class.”

“Well, you _did_ miss orientation,” he said, making Sakura’s stomach drop. She’d forgotten about orientation! “But, I suppose since you were in the building before class started, and talking to a teacher, that Iruka-sensei could be convinced to not mark you late.”

“Oh, thank you, Mizuki-sensei!” 

The man chuckled. “Come on, then. We’re going to the same place.”

As they walked to the new fourth-year classrooms, Sakura asked, “So what _is_ all that work outside?”

"Iruka-san will be explaining all of that in class, but what I can say is that it will be pretty busy around here for a few weeks," the teacher explained. His eyes lit with a little bit of mischief. "And it will be exciting for you students as well."

Mizuki-sensei opened the door for her and Sakura tried her best to slink inside and not be noticed. She needn't have bothered, though - Naruto was _already_ getting chewed-out by Iruka-sensei at the front of the room, so no one noticed Sakura finding a place to sit in the back. 

Well, no one except for Ino. The blond seemed to notice her wherever she was and Sakura stuck her tongue out at the other girl when Ino mouthed, _late_ , at her, smirking. 

"Now that the distractions are over," Iruka began, glaring at the back of Naruto's head as the boy skulked back to his seat, "I can properly welcome you all to what is _hopefully_ your last year with us at the Academy. This year will be a culmination of the last four years of instruction, ending with-”

Suddenly, a loud clamor of electric tools from outside interrupted Iruka's speech. Someone banged into Sakura’s back with their elbow as the most annoying members of the class got up out of their chairs to go look, talking like little kids and ignoring Iruka-sensei’s orders to sit back down. 

_So childish,_ Sakura thought, keeping one eye on Sasuke-kun to see what he was doing. He didn’t move, so she didn’t either no matter how interesting the construction outside probably was. She felt a little better seeing Ino trying to get a look. Typical Ino.

Mizuki stepped forward at the head of the classroom. He didn’t shout or yell like Iruka-sensei did, but Sakura could still hear him. "Maybe we should tell them about it now? Otherwise, they’ll never concentrate.”

Iruka didn’t argue. He did roll his eyes, but there was a smile tugging at his lips. He got that look sometimes with Naruto when he did something funny in class. Sometimes the boy made it hard for Sakura not to laugh too. 

The teacher did take out his yardstick, though. A few bangs on the desk was all it took to get most of the attention back on him. “Listen up! The Hokage approved a new addition to the Academy last year, but because of a bad wet season over winter, the construction had to be moved a few weeks. On Thursday a jounin will put a sound-dampening seal on the classrooms, but we’re all going to have to bear it until then.”

Some of the kids looked unhappy at that. The boys (except Sasuke-kun, of course) all liked having something fun to listen to rather than their lessons. But maybe the chance of seeing a jounin was sort of worth it? 

But Iruka-sensei wasn’t done. In fact, he smiled a sly little smile at their sad faces. “ _Until then_ , we have a bit of a special program that the Academy will be running with our fourth-year class. Several genin teams are assisting with the construction and for an hour before and an hour after lunch we’ll break you all up into groups to assist them.”

“You mean provide free child labor,” Shikamaru grumbled. Everyone laughed, even Ino, who usually didn’t have time for Shikamaru’s complaining. 

It was hard to stay concentrated on the rest of the class, which was nothing but syllabus discussions, when the noise outside never stopped. More eyes than just Sakura’s were watching the clock, waiting for the hours to slip by. Iruka-sensei seemed to realize he’d lost the class and wasn’t nearly as hard on them for not paying attention and didn't ask too many questions, which seemed to make the whole day go by quicker. 

And then, before Sakura knew it, the clock struck ten. Iruka-sensei had them all line up at the front of the room, broken into boys and girls, and then led them out to the schoolyard. 

The number of people and tools had doubled since Sakura had been out here. Everywhere she looked was a construction site, filled with tools and building supplies. 

Iruka-sensei and Mizuki-sensei both stood between them and the worksite. “Remember to mind your supervisors,” Iruka-sensei said. “Treat this like you would an actual mission. Shinobi Rule 36: ‘A ninja obeys the orders of his superior unless it affects the outcome of the mission.’ Right now the workers are your superiors, and you all are the hired help.”

“We’re not getting paid,” Shikamaru again pointed out, but he was ignored.

“Boys will be directly helping with the construction,” Iruka-sensei told the line of boys. Most of them looked excited, except for Shikamaru and Sasuke-kun. “Mizuki will walk each of you over to your work partner. _Remember_ Rule 36. Naruto? Are you listening?”

Once Mizuki-sensei left with the line of boys, Iruka-sensei explained that the girls wouldn’t directly be building anything, only bringing tools and water bottles to people who needed them. That suited most of them just fine, including Sakura; she would hate to get her new dress dirty. But, since she’d sat in the back today, she was at the end of the line too. It took Iruka-sensei time to get to her. 

He led her into the schoolyard, passing Naruto peppering his partner with questions, and Hinata who looked too shy to even approach hers yet. Near the edge of the yard, helping with what looked like a wall frame, were three older boys wearing headbands. Genin!

“You’re pretty lucky,” Iruka-sensei told her. “They asked for some help at the last minute. This will be your partner for today.”

The person Iruka had indicated, a young man with a shiny headband, stepped away from the frame he was hammering on. He was older than her, but not by too much. His silver hair stood out as the most unusual thing about him. When he noticed her staring, he ran a dirty hand through it and smiled pleasantly. "My name is Yakushi Kabuto,” he said. “It's a pleasure to meet you."

He held out his hand. Sakura smiled back and took it. "I'm Haruno Sakura," she replied as she shook.

Introductions over, they went to work. Sakura met the other two genin, Yoroi and Tsurugi, but they weren’t nearly as friendly as Kabuto. They kept their faces hidden with masks and sunglasses, even though it was starting to get muggy as the spring day approached noon. When they needed something it was usually Kabuto who asked for it.

As interesting as it was to watch them build a wall, it got old pretty quickly. Sakura only had to make two or three runs to the tool supervisor for something they didn’t have and then it was right back to sitting and waiting. 

She looked out over the yard. The boys were all hammering and lifting and doing all kinds of things. Sakura didn’t necessarily want to climb up a piece of scaffolding like Naruto was doing, but it probably was more fun than sitting here.

So, instead of being bored watching the labor, Sakura instead looked at her ‘partners’. Kabuto was… strange. Nice, but strange. For a ninja. He wasn’t big, didn’t look too tough, and was pretty scrawny. His glasses were those thick ones that looked like the bottom of a soft drink bottle too, and he constantly had to stop to push them back up his nose. 

Not exactly the image of a professional genin Sakura had in her head. Then again, she came from a civilian home; she had no idea what a proper ninja looked like, since her dad had died before she was born, fighting the Kyuubi, though she was hardly unique in that regard. When she used to still be friends with Ino she saw plenty of Yamanaka at the clan house, but that had been years ago and they all looked like taller versions of Ino anyway. 

“Haruno-san? _Haruno-san_?” 

Sakura blinked a few times, surprised to see Kabuto putting up tools. When he noticed he had her attention, he motioned to the schoolhouse. “We’re going to stop for lunch, Haruno-san. I think you’re released back to your class until lunch is over.”

Oh no, had he caught her staring? “R-right. I guess I’ll just… come back later?” She thought that maybe they’d invite her to eat with them, but Kabuto just smiled and nodded at her, as polite a dismissal as she’d ever gotten. 

Then he was gone, walking back over to his team, leaving Sakura sitting there like a… a… _kid_. 

Sakura only lingered for a few more awkward moments before shuffling off back to the schoolhouse. Iruka-sensei handed her a bento and Sakura went to find a place to eat. The other kids were all breaking up into their little groups, which left Sakura sitting on the periphery, which suited her. When she’d had her falling out with Ino, all of their little group of friends, the ones still left in the Academy program, had broken up and gone their separate ways. 

Still, she liked to at least listen to lunch conversation. Everyone seemed pretty excited and looking forward to going back to work, because most of the class hated learning out of books. Even Naruto of all people seemed excited talking about what he’d learned from some old construction worker and he was telling anyone who would listen about how to properly sand a board. It made Sakura think about what _she’d_ learned today, and found out it wasn’t a whole lot. And Naruto didn’t even get a whole genin team to himself, just some civilian worker. 

A familiar shadow fell over her as she picked through her lunch. 

"I thought you'd be happier since you got to team up with the genin, Forehead.” Without asking, Ino just sat down on the steps next to Sakura and started going through her own lunch. “You look like someone just kicked a puppy."

“I am happy, Ino-pig,” Sakura disagreed, mostly out of reflex. Little insults like that barely bothered them these days, but Ino had started it with a forehead dig, so she was a pig. Normal conversation. 

Although, Ino did have a point. “I thought maybe they’d ask me to eat with them.”

Ino smirked. That never boded well. "Oh yeah? I saw you checking out the nerdy one with the glasses. I guess that since you know you’re not going to get Sasuke-kun, you have to look at other options."

"Oh please, Sasuke-kun is the only guy for me," Sakura growled, blushing. He wasn’t cute at all; didn’t even hold a candle to Sasuke-kun. "I’m just saying that I can't believe they ignored me like that after I helped them all morning. It’s rude!"

"Well, that's how men are,” Ino announced to her, as if she knew. It's not like Ino ever had a boyfriend either. 

Listening to Ino boast and bluster had never been high on Sakura’s list of priorities, especially if they weren’t even really friends anymore, so she finished off the rest of her bento and left the girl to her complaining. Sakura was sure that Kabuto wouldn’t mind if she came back this early; it’s not like they paid any attention to her anyway. 

But, when she got back to the edge of the schoolyard, the genin were nowhere to be seen. Their food was still sitting where she’d seen them settle, half-eaten, but with no indication where they'd’ gone. They hadn’t even bothered to cover it up. 

_Should I go look for them?_ Sakura wondered. On the one hand, she was imposing on their lunch when they’d already declined to invite her, but on the other lunchtime was almost over and she didn’t want anyone to get in trouble. If Iruka-sensei just saw her sitting there by herself, she’d have to tell him that they were missing. 

If she got them into trouble with Iruka-sensei then they would surely not give her the time of day anymore. And she had a whole _week_ to work with them still! 

So, Sakura went looking for the trio. Other kids were starting to run back to their stations, eager for another hour out in the sun as Sakura searched all over for Kabuto’s distinctive silver hair. Every once in a while she would pick up a tool and look it over, just to seem like she was doing what she was supposed to be doing, but by and large people ignored her. There were kids all over the place, after all. 

_I wish I’d paid more attention in tracking class last year_ , Sakura thought. While she was at the top of the class on actual book knowledge, practical skills were never her specialty. She was guessing at this point, simply looking around the less-populated areas of the site. Surely she would have spotted the genin by now if they were in plain view. 

As she carefully picked her way through a half-built extension, a plyboard fell over on the far wall and nearly made her jump out of her skin. This far back from the others she could barely even hear the power tools and there was no one else around. 

Sakura wanted to leave. Something about this place felt _wrong_ and she realized that the birds that usually sat around the Academy, waiting to be fed by the students, were silent. Even the small forest nearby where the class practiced taijutsu and survival skills was eerily still. 

Something hissed at her. Sakura spun around, looking for the noise. She caught the smallest of glimpses of something shiny and scaly moving through the piled lumber. 

Snakes weren’t uncommon in Konoha. One of the first lessons anyone learned was which ones were harmful and which ones weren’t, and the boys all loved to catch them during free period. But this one - no boy could catch this snake. 

When it raised its head from the woodpile Sakura realized instantly what a field mouse felt like. The thing was higher up off the ground than Sakura’s own head and it still had most of its body hidden. A wide, flat, arrow-shaped head angled right at her, no more than a couple of yards away, and that close could see straight into its marble-sized eyes. 

Its tongue flicked out. Once, twice, three times. On the last it twitched up and down and Sakura could have sworn she saw some spark of intelligence in the thing’s face. 

Sakura told herself it was just a dumb animal. Snakes weren’t like Kiba’s dog, which was super smart for an animal. This thing didn't understand what it was looking at; it was just reacting to the vibrations coming off Sakura’s body. Her heartbeat, the rhythm of her lungs, her footsteps from earlier…

But it _knew_. Sakura felt that as surely as the sun shining on her skin. She didn’t know how, but the certainty was clear in her mind: This snake knew exactly what she was. 

And then, just as Sakura was about to run screaming back to the front of the building, the arrow-shaped head went back to the dirt; the spell was broken. The massive thing slithered off toward the training ground in the forest without another look in her direction. 

Sakura found that she was breathing heavily and she slapped her cheeks to get it back under control. A snake that big, slithering around the Academy, was dangerous; she _had_ to tell Iruka-sensei. 

But if it got away, would anyone ever believe she’d seen it? Indecisively, Sakura looked back and forth between the corner of the Academy and the rustling bushes. She ran off after it. 

The route the serpent was taking led Sakura farther away from the construction zone and deeper into the little thicket of trees. The path to the training area was on the other side of the woods; it was cutting straight through the middle. Sakura was slow and careful, pushing her way through, always making sure to keep an eye on the massive reptile. When it stopped, she stopped. When it turned, she turned. It might just be an animal, but Iruka-sensei had told them all that animals could be much more cunning than a human if pushed and Sakura didn’t want to get too close to this thing. 

It did strike her as odd, though, that this snake was being so active. Weren’t snakes cold-blooded? That meant they didn’t like to move if they didn’t have to, right? Sakura ran that biology lesson from two years ago over and over in her head as she followed the beast and was sure she didn’t misremember something. So, why was this snake moving with such purpose? 

And it was moving rather quickly, too. It was even speeding up the closer she got to the hidden training area. She even lost sight of it when it went through a particularly thorny section of wood, and when Sakura made her way around it was nowhere to be seen or heard. 

She looked around, trying to mentally will the snake to show itself once again, but there was nothing. Still no birdsong, either, so the woods were extra creepy. All Sakura could hear was her own breathing, which was rapidly getting louder as she realized she couldn’t orient herself. 

The Academy was behind her. Sakura knew that much, at least, because the snake had gone rather straight, but the wood was surrounded by the village on all sides. If she kept walking in any direction she would come out on a road, and she could find her way back to the Academy and her teachers. _They_ could deal with the snake, whether they believed her or not. Sakura had done her best following it just this far. It probably lived in the woods here and an adult could deal with it. 

_So I’m just going to leave,_ Sakura thought, carefully backing up. Leaves crunched under her sandals as she retreated. Every twig sounded like the crack of a whip, the wood was so quiet. 

And then a _pop_ in the distance. Like the sound of someone making a _bunshin_ or using the _kawarimi no jutsu_. Sakura licked her dry lips. If someone was using the training ground they needed to know about the snake. Or it could be an adult, which would be even better. They might even be able to help her find it again and if an adult saw it Iruka-sensei couldn’t get mad at her for wandering off. 

But it required her to keep walking. Sakura swallowed. That snake was _big_. It couldn’t surprise her, could it? She would surely see it. 

She would see it. Sakura told herself that she would see it, as she crept forward. Her forestcraft and tracking weren’t so bad she could miss something like that snake. 

The snake’s trail was visible, at least. It was almost impossible to miss, too, because of the thing’s bulk. That much snake had to drag a lot of weight and the serpentine trail was nearly a foot wide in places. Sakura followed it religiously, not leaving it even if she had to crawl through briars again, because if she was following the snake’s trail it couldn’t surprise her. 

She followed it over a dry creek bed, right past a rabbit warren, and then over an old, overgrown section of wall that’d been weathered down to just a few stacked bricks. At the bricks, though, Sakura felt something strange. A shiver went through her body like she’d walked through a cold sprinkler; the little hairs on her arms stood up. Something deep in her chest, her chakra, stirred. 

With a start, Sakura realized what it was - barrier ninjutsu! Sakura had read about it in one of her library books. Usually, it kept people out, but it seemed like following the snake had led her right through a hole. 

Now she knew for sure someone was training, and that they were probably an adult. Elated, Sakura started going faster and faster through the trees, following the snake’s trail right at the grassy edge of the training ground. 

And then, she found Kabuto and the other genin. She opened her mouth to call out to them, to let them know she was there, but then she stopped, and then cowered back down in the border thicket. 

The snake was _right in front_ of Kabuto. It had risen to his height, even, and it was so close he could probably reach out and touch the thing, but he didn’t seem scared of it. In fact, he looked happy to see it and was even talking to it. What was saying was only a little bit audible from where Sakura was, but it was clear he wasn’t just talking to his teammates. 

Sakura looked back over her shoulder. She had no idea where the hole in the barrier was, or even if it was still open. Had it opened just for the snake to get in? If so, that meant Kabuto was waiting for the reptile. That he knew about it. 

_I’ve got to get closer_ , Sakura thought. Something about this was wrong, **very** wrong, and she wanted to be able to tell a teacher. The training ground was circular, with a few free-standing trees scattered inside of it, so Sakura crawled until Kabuto’s words came out clearer. 

“Do we have new orders yet?” one of Kabuto’s teammates, Yoroi, asked. “We’re going to be missed out there soon.”

Kabuto looked back at the other boy. His face wasn’t kind and it shut his teammate up. Sakura shivered at that look. 

“A moment,” Kabuto said, reaching out to the snake. He held out his hand expectantly. 

Sakura thought the snake was finally going to bite him. Its head twitched, like it was about to strike, but instead of doing that it started to _throw something up_. Sakura felt her stomach lurch as she watched a bulge work its way up to the animal’s gullet, eventually forcing it to open its mouth and spit out a scroll into Kabuto’s hand. 

The snake _had_ been acting weird, Sakura realized, because it was a _summoned animal_ . Summons were smart animals trained to do tasks for their masters, which meant it _knew_ it was being followed. 

Sakura realized that she needed to leave. Now. 

Kabuto was opening the scroll, but Sakura was already crawling back to where the hole had been in the barrier. “We are to fail the next chunin exams,” he said, conversationally. 

“We’ve already failed a few years now,” Tsurugi grunted. “People will start asking questions soon.”

“And yet, that is what is required of us. Perhaps one of you can make it to the preliminaries to throw off suspicion? But that is not in our orders, so you would be taking a risk with our master.”

 _‘Master’? They’re_ **_spies_ ** _! I have to tell Iruka-sensei!_ Sakura dared to not even breathe as she crawled her way back. Actual spies, in the village, doing kami-knows-what. And only Sakura knew. She had to make it back. 

“Ah, but there is one more thing,” Kabuto said. “I’m told we have a mouse rooting around in the forest.”

Sakura froze. When she looked over her shoulder, Kabuto was gone. 

“Hello, Haruno-san.”

She screamed. Kabuto was _right there_ , looming over her. On instinct, she lashed out at the teen with her fists and feet, but taijutsu had never been her strong point. He ducked a right hook and slapped away a follow-up kick to his stomach, smiling just as pleasantly as he had been when he’d introduced himself to her. 

“Academy taijutsu won’t help you,” he told her, dancing away from another punch. Sakura shouted for help and he sighed. “No one can hear you, either. We’re inside a jutsu barrier.” 

He plucked her fist out of the air on the next swipe and his grip was iron. When his return punch came, lazy and with hardly any windup, it knocked the air out of her. Sakura had never, in her whole life, been hit like that. 

Kabuto actually made a surprised little hum as she sank to the ground, clutching her stomach. “Apologies, Haruno-san. I forgot how delicate children are.” He grabbed a fistful of her hair and wrenched her face up. “Now, I need you to tell me what you heard. Starting from the beginning, if you please. You will tell me, yes? A good girl like you would tell me.”

His other hand struck out as Sakura struggled and she saw stars. Her entire face throbbed from where he’d struck her. As she started to cry, he let go of her hair and gripped her by the throat instead, lifting her clear off the ground. Sakura kicked and gagged, but her little blows did nothing to the boy other than knock off his glasses. 

Kabuto’s red eyes cut into her like a knife. “If you do not tell me,” he started, tensing his grip, “I will rip it from your mind and leave you a husk. Do you understand, Haruno-san? You _will_ tell me.”

 _Shinobi Rule 12: Never give in to the demands of an enemy._ Sakura knew the rule. She could recite every rule, in fact, with a great bit of pride. But now, having the life squeezed out of her, those rules seemed so very far away. 

She was going to _die_ if she didn’t tell him. That sharp bit of clarity cut through all of the pain and panic. 

“I-I-I didn’t… ack!” Sakura clutched at the boy’s hand where it was crushing her throat and he eased just enough for her to take a breath. “You were talking about the exam! And-And failing it! I swear that’s all I know! I swear it, please!” Sobbing, Sakura tried to get her fingers under his, knowing it was useless. “Please! Please, I don’t want to die!”

And then she fell back to the forest floor, clutching her face and her neck and crying. Kabuto squatted and ran a soothing hand across her cheek, smiling when she jerked back away from him, even though it made the pain go away. 

“Shhh,” he shushed. “It’s alright, Haruno-san. Soon it won’t hurt anymore.”

Sakura knew what he meant. She kicked at him again and actually managed to make him lose his balance, so she crawled like a frantic animal toward the deeper forest. But something grabbed her leg and heaved her up and she screamed and screamed but it didn’t help. And Kabuto’s red eyes closed in and her vision went back, only catching the briefest vision of the massive snake slithering toward Kabuto before...

Atop the Fourth Hokage’s stone head, Sakura's eyes snapped open. She looked around - had she fallen asleep? Had she grown so used to this life that she could sleep after meeting with Kabuto?

She sighed. She _hated_ that dream. That memory. It was over a year ago now and she still relived it every few nights. Was it her subconscious, trying to make her feel guilt? She had already made her decision and there was no help for it anymore. Sakura knew she had to follow it all through to the end. 

But things would get easier. The scroll still clutched in her hand might be the key to that, the key to never seeing Kabuto ever again. She had been asking again and again and again for something like it and now, finally, her mysterious master had provided. 

She couldn’t try it out now, though, no matter how tempting the thought was. Kabuto was a bastard and a fiend, but he had taught her that a spy had to account for time because someone watching her movements would surely be doing so. By her internal clock, Sakura reckoned she had been gone for about an hour, which was about the limit that could be written off for a walk around the neighborhood for an eleven-year-old about to graduate from the Academy. 

And her mother… Sakura didn’t like leaving her mother alone too long when she couldn’t account for Kabuto’s location. Haruno Mebuki, a civilian, was Kabuto’s leverage on her if everything else failed. It wasn’t likely that he would do anything to the woman since Sakura had just appeased him with a good report, but she could never be one-hundred percent certain. 

Sakura slipped over the edge of the monument. She knew all of the hidden builder’s paths in the stone and could follow them even without a moon in the sky. Tonight, when there was a crescent moon, it was no issue. She spent the ten-minute climb down studying the scroll without opening it, but she couldn’t tell very much. It looked like a regular scroll to her untrained eye. 

Her street was quiet, but that didn’t mean anything. Sakura walked along the sidewalk with a bit of a skip, just in case anyone was watching. She used to skip when she was happy. No lights were on in her house, which was a very good thing, so Sakura got inside using the spare key under the flowerpot. A horrible place to hide anything, but Sakura’s mother was a civilian so it wouldn’t raise any eyebrows. Other civilians knew better than to rob a ninja’s home, after all. 

The inside was quiet as well. Sakura snuck up the stairs, missing the eighth one that would make a loud creek, and checked in on her mother. Just as she’d left her, Haruno Mebuki was sound asleep and Sakura let out a quiet sigh. One more night survived for the both of them. 

She stopped in front of her own door. The little piece of tape she’d left across the door frame was still intact, which meant that her mother hadn’t checked in on her. Sakura reached out with a tiny bit of chakra to check the ink seal on the inside of the hinges and found it hadn’t been disturbed either, so Sakura disabled the little seal and slipped inside. 

Her room was dark and she didn’t dare light it, since it was facing the street. Her curtains were open a hair which let in enough light to see by as she cleared her desk and unfurled the scroll Kabuto had given her. There wasn’t much ink in it, only the first couple of rolls, so Sakura didn’t have to find somewhere longer to read it. 

There wasn’t any writing in it other than a complex-looking circular seal and two handprints in ink, one marked ‘recall’ and the other ‘return’. Whoever had done the handprints had long, spindly fingers that stretched nearly to the top of the scroll. 

_I think ‘recall’ is the right one_ , Sakura thought as her hand hovered over the handprint. She didn’t have anything to ‘return’, after all. Nothing immediately happened, so Sakura fed the seal her chakra. 

A puff of smoke appeared in the circle. Sakura fanned it away and picked up a small, leather-bound book. It was nondescript with no markings of any kind on the front or back cover, tied closed by a thin leather tassel. Sakura unwound it and flipped open a random page. Nothing. No writing. She held it up and gave it a shake. She was rewarded by a few loose pieces of paper fluttering down onto the table. Little symbols that looked like musical notes were scrawled on them in a complicated character cypher, and the pages were numbered. There looked to be quite a few mutations. 

_This must be a character key_ , she thought, knowing that she would have to burn these pages once she’d memorized the cypher. For now, she set them aside on the desk and went back to the leather book.

Flipping through all of the pages showed that the book was only _nearly_ blank. On the very first page, written in a tight, neat script were a few words:

"'Weekly journal, Agent Haruno Sakura. Accept?'" the pink-haired girl read aloud, a smile starting to form. _This_ was just what she wanted - a way to never have to see Kabuto again! She could write her reports in here without reporting them in person. 

She didn’t even have to think about her response. She snatched a pen from her desk and scribbled a hasty ‘ _yes_ ’ under the original question. Guessing what she had to do, Sakura closed the book back up and put it back down in the scroll’s circle, only this time putting her hand down on the ‘return’ print and feeding it chakra. It disappeared with a _pop_ and another cloud of smoke. 

Quickly, Sakura rolled the scroll back up and mixed it in with all her old homework scrolls on her bookshelf. _I’m going to need a better hiding place_ , she thought, looking at her shelf with some trepidation. The scroll looked just like the rest of them, but what if someone went through her whole shelf? They would surely find it. 

But, that was a problem for another night. She picked up a picture frame of her mother and slipped the cypher key behind the picture backing. She would study it tomorrow night, or the day after. She had time if the reports were weekly, but tonight Sakura was too wired. 

Sakura grabbed a sleeping pill from an over-the-counter sleeping aid bottle on her nightstand. She needed sleep for tomorrow. She unscrewed a bottled water she kept in her room for just such occasions and swallowed two pills, an adult dosage, so that she wouldn’t dream another nightmare. 

As she changed into her pajamas, Sakura’s mind wandered to tomorrow morning. Eleven months, since becoming a traitor to the village; eleven months since starting her final year of the Academy. 

Tomorrow she would probably graduate, becoming a true shinobi in the eyes of the village. An _adult_. Tomorrow marked the end of any kind of leniency she could get as a child. The penalty for treason for an adult ninja was death. If she were found after tonight, she would die just as sure as she would have died all those months ago at Kabuto’s hands. 

And she would die alone. Sakura rolled her tongue, knowing that his insurance policy was still there, even if she couldn’t feel it. He wouldn’t go down with her if it came to her having to testify against him. But it also represented something else - a way out, if caught. Kabuto’s failsafe policy could also be salvation from torture at the hands of the ANBU if things came to that. 

Sakura shuddered as she crawled into bed. _What great choices I have_ , she thought. _A slow death from the ANBU or a quick death thanks to Kabuto_. But things wouldn't come to that. No, she wouldn't be found out. Sakura had been covering all of her activities with religious care, even though as an Academy student she could move and gather information without raising much suspicion. But as a genin...

Genin worked in three-man cells, with a jounin teacher. And they went outside of the village. Her opportunities to gather the information her shadowy master wanted would require more risks and more finesse from tomorrow forward. 

Sakura buried her head into her pillows and forced herself not to cry. _I’ll have a jounin-sensei of my own to get information from,_ Sakura told herself. _It’ll be easier than waiting around chunin bars night after night. A sensei will have to answer my questions if I’m smart about them._

Unless the jounin was smarter. Unless they smelled a rat. It would be a game of cat and mouse, with Sakura as the tiny, easily-eaten morsel who needed to steal from the cat’s plate to survive. If the cat caught her, she would have to bluff; she would have to stare the cat in the eye before it ate her. 

_I won’t blink first,_ Sakura told herself. Death was the only reward if she were caught by the village. She had far more to lose than some random jounin. The day after tomorrow, after the exam, her _real_ test would start.

For now, though, Sakura just enjoyed the feel of her bed. She had given Kabuto enough information to last for at least another few weeks and non-stop studying left her confident about graduating. The rest could wait.

Tomorrow, nothing would be able to drag her down. Not even the brutal reality waiting around the corner for her, fat and lazy like a well-fed cat. 

  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note before reading this for ff.net readers: There are a *lot* of new scenes in this compared to the original, because I'm going back and fixing a lot of continuity issues / adding more content in an effort to make the whole story flow better and not look like a 300k word work done over the course of an entire decade without an outline. 
> 
> Nothing big will change, and I'll leave the original chapters up on ff.net, but there will be more stuff like this in the future. I hope you don't mind.
> 
> Another note: for people confused about Sakura's single-parent status, this was written WELL before we knew anything about her family situation other than "she wasn't an orphan". So, yeah, that's why it has an AU tag.

_Eyes staring at her in the dark; something sitting on her chest, looming over her. Paralyzing her. Someone in the room, watching, waiting, drawing nearer to the bed. My throat is constricting like someone’s hands are choking the life out of me._

_They are here. They are beside me. I really am going to die._

Sakura bolted straight up and nearly cracked heads with her mother. Haruno Mebuki fell back with a startled yelp, hitting the hardwood of Sakura’s bedroom in a clatter of aging bones and a curse. “Sakura, you scared the… is that a _knife_?”

The girl looked down at her hand. She’d grabbed the kunai under her pillow and hadn’t even realized it. Quickly, she slid the thing under the comforter and tried to get her breathing under control. “S-Sorry, mom. Just a bad dream.”

Mebuki swallowed. “I saw you thrashing and I wanted to help,“ she said as Sakura swung her feet out of bed. “I suppose you _are_ growing up. Your father could be like that some nights too. Just… try not and stab any holes in the bed?”

“Sure, mom. I promise.”

That was all it took for Mebuki to regain some composure. She still eyed where Sakura had slid the kunai like a viper nest, but she turned a more honest smile on her daughter. “I wanted to tell you that I’ve made your favorite breakfast. Today’s the big day, isn’t it? Your graduation?”

Sakura hedged. “Well, only if I’m good enough to pass.”

“Then I was right. Today _is_ your graduation,” Mebuki decided, running her hand through Sakura’s hair, getting out the worst of the knots with gentle fingers. 

Sakura leaned into the touch, knowing it would make the woman happy. 

Once Mebuki was satisfied, she made one last pass with a gentle scratch on Sakura’s scalp and turned for the door. “Get a shower and then come downstairs. The food will be ready in just a few minutes.”

Sakura assured her that she would, and smiled until Mebuki closed the door after her. Only then did she collapse onto her bed, taking deep, shuddering breaths. 

Another night of night terrors. That had been her first one in weeks, but also one of the worst she’d had in months. It had to be because she met with Kabuto last night, or because of her nerves about the exam. Or maybe the two things had mixed into one giant stormcloud that’d hung over her bed all night, drowning her with terrors?

Signing, because there was nothing she could do about it now, Sakura decided to take a _long_ shower. Really wake up. She set out her clothes for the day, the pretty red skirt her mother had made for her. It had the traditional symbol of the Haruno family on it, which Sakura liked. It made her feel more like a _real_ ninja. 

As an afterthought, she decided to bring along the character cipher as well. There could be an opportunity to study it some. 

After getting ready for the day Sakura went downstairs. She still had a solid thirty or so minutes before she had to leave and it was a good thing that she did - her mother hadn’t been lying about the spread for breakfast. Even though she was still on her diet, Sakura decided that one morning couldn’t hurt and filled her plate. _Might help on the exam_ , she thought. 

But as she ate, Sakura watched her mother. Mebuki didn’t immediately sit down with her daughter; instead, she placed a flower and a stick of fresh incense on the little shrine she kept at the head of the dining room, next to the cabinet that held the dishes she’d only bring out for guests. 

Her father. Sakura only knew his face because of the picture her mother kept by the shrine, but she could see exactly where she got her pink hair from. The man looked nice - he was smiling in the picture - but it didn’t mean anything to Sakura. He’d died years ago, fighting the Kyuubi, along with dozens of other parents. 

Sakura’s chewing slowed down. If there was an afterlife and he was watching her, he probably wouldn’t be too proud. He’d died a chunin of the village. A hero, actually, because he was buried at the memorial cemetery with all the other fox victims. What would he say if he knew his only daughter had grown up to be a traitor? Unwilling, yes, but still a traitor. 

"So, what kinds of things will the exams be?" Mebuki asked once she was back at the table. “Your father told me once, but it was so long ago I’ve forgotten what he said.”

“It’s probably going to be a practical exam. We’ve been learning simple jutsu for weeks now and we haven’t had a practical with them for a grade yet. That’s probably it.” Sakura held up two fingers. “A regular _bunshin no jutsu_ or a _henge_ . Maybe a _kawarmi_ , but those were technically last year’s finals.” As long as it wasn’t taijutsu Sakura felt confident. She had high scores in just about everything else, from strategy to what-if ninja scenarios. Her taijutsu wasn’t _bad_ , perse, but she was definitely in the bottom two-thirds of the class. 

Of course, Sakura had a monthly reminder of what her limits were. Every time she looked at Kabuto’s smirking face and couldn’t do anything about it was a class in weakness. She knew that Kabuto was no regular genin, but he was only a few years older than she was and his skills were incredible. 

Sakura knew that she couldn’t do a thing if Kabuto seriously decided to kill her. She couldn’t hide, couldn’t fight, and couldn’t run. 

_I’m not the best ninja material_ , she thought, looking glumly at the photo of her father. 

Mebuki put down her fork. “Sakura? Are you alright? You look down.”

“I’m fine. Just worried about the exam.” Lying came easy to Sakura these days, and her mother was a civilian with no training to detect falsehoods. Over the last year, it’d gotten easier and easier to spin lies to the woman as Sakura collected information. The only difference with this was that Sakura was sparring her. 

If she were ever caught, at least Haruno Mebuki could honestly say she had no idea her daughter was a filthy traitor. 

_It’s getting too easy to lie to her_ , Sakura miserably thought as she watched her mother nod and go back to eating. Months ago she would cry from just having to sneak out of the house to sit at some restaurant in the afternoon, doing homework and overhearing chatty chunin talk about their missions. Now it was rigging complex seals in the house or even spiking the woman’s food to make her go to sleep earlier than normal so Sakura could go meet Kabuto on top of the Hokage Monument for another report. 

And the worst of it all - familiarity was breeding complacency. Maybe even _acceptance._ A year from now, would she even agonize about her situation this much? 

Would it even be on her radar?

Her breakfast suddenly wasn’t sitting so well and Sakura pushed her plate away. “I’m going to get an early start,” she muttered, not able to look at her mother. The woman didn’t even get out a proper response before Sakura was out the front door. 

The streets were busy, even this early in the morning, and Sakura had to fight for her place in them. Her street was crowded because the Haruno family home didn’t take up an entire city block to itself, like some of the enormous clans. Just a single two-story house, bunched up against other two-story houses. The only big clan house on the entire street was a dozen doors down, and even then it wasn’t too big. Only a few dozen members in half as many buildings. 

But Sakura knew the door by heart. She hung back as it opened, revealing a chipper, smiling Yamanaka Ino, heading off to the Academy. In another life, Sakura might have caught up to her and had a bit of unfriendly banter; In another life, they might have still been best friends and walked to class together. 

Sakura waited until the blond was a whole street down before she started walking again. 

The one good thing about the crowds, and why Sakura didn’t mind slowing down and being jostled, was that they were perfect for espionage. She had discovered over the last year that sheer brazenness went a long way to conceal actions you didn’t want to be uncovered, so without much care she pulled out the highly-sensitive symbol cipher she’d gotten from her journal last night and started studying. 

She wanted to get a jump on this, because that journal was the key to _everything_. It would get her away from Kabuto, eliminate the need for meeting in person, give her a way of secure communication - everything she wanted to make her life just a little bit easier. 

And without Kabuto on her back, Sakura imagined she might be able to work on a way out of this mess. A boss hundreds, or even thousands, of miles away was certainly less lax than one who lived in the same village. 

But, all of that required her to learn the cipher first and it was turning out to be a royal pain. Of all the possible things that they could have used, her new handler had chosen musical notes. And worse than that, the individual notes didn’t correspond with individual letters. Instead, depending on the melody, a single note could mean **_any_ ** letter. 

Infuriating. _Ingenious_ , but still infuriating. It was strange, but the Konoha Public Library, the non-shinobi one, might be the best place to start. There wasn’t anything inherently ninja-specific about the cipher and Sakura doubted the Academy library would have much on learning how to read sheet music, so she put the cipher key away and just tried to focus on the exams to come. 

If she couldn’t pass those and become a genin, Sakura doubted her newfound freedom would be extended by the spy powers-that-be. They wouldn’t waste something like that journal on a failed Academy student. 

Luckily, Sakura was able to get her typical seat at the back of the room. It was the perfect vantage point to see the whole chalkboard without moving her head _and_ get a good, unobstructed view of Sasuke-kun. It was always fun to watch him and dream about their future together, but lately Sakura had been too stressed or busy to partake. 

Last week had been the worst. Final written exams every day, Kabuto’s information deadline looming, the final practical exam on the horizon - Sakura had been too stressed every day in class to do so much as even glance in the boy’s direction, which was a tragedy. Today Sakura was pretty happy, so she just propped her head up with an arm and watched Sasuke pretend like the world wasn’t good enough for him. 

_I could do this for hours_ , Sakura thought. _Or watch it on television._

Unfortunately for her, it was only another ten minutes before Iruka-sensei marched into the room. He’d come from the adjacent classroom instead of the hallway door, though, which made Sakura believe the exams would take place in the empty classroom next door. 

That was… a lot of space. _I swear if it’s taijutsu I’m going to scream_. 

For once, Iruka-sensei didn’t have to bang on his desk to get everyone’s attention; students were nervous and jumpy enough that all he had to do was clear his throat and all eyes were on him. 

He tapped his knuckles on an official-looking clipboard he was carrying. “We’re going to do the final exam in alphabetical order,” he said. “When you hear your name, follow me into the examination room. The rest of you should be quiet and respectful, just as I’m sure your classmates will be for you.”

Iruka-sensei called the first name, Aburame Shino, and held open the examination door for him. Then it slammed shut behind them, leaving the whole class wincing. 

Shino... Sakura didn’t know much about the boy. He was quiet and, as far as the class rankings went, fairly competent in both practical skills and academics. Maybe the most well-rounded candidate to go first.

The minutes ticked by. A few kids got up and put their ears to the door, but of course they walked away frustrated. There were sound-dampening seals in every classroom now. 

They needn't have bothered. Shino was back out of the room in less than ten minutes, wearing a shiny new forehead protector. It was impossible to see if he was happy or not because of his sunglasses and high collar, but Sakura imagined his back was just a little straighter when he sat down. He ignored any whispered calls for hints, though. 

The next boy, Akimichi Choji, was a different case. He wasn’t really good at anything and he didn’t seem too eager to be second, but he trudged into the room when Iruka-sensei called him. Just like Shino, though, he reappeared a few minutes later with a forehead protector, proudly wearing it for the room to see. 

Two people, two passes - the test didn’t look that tough. 

Someone tapped her shoulder. Sakura thought it was a bug or something at first, given how timid the tap was, but then her neighbor cleared her throat and Sakura was obliged to turn to look at the pale girl sitting next to her, who seemed to cringe just at getting the attention she’d asked for. 

It wasn’t that Sakura had never seen Hyuuga Hinata before - the girl had been sitting in the back of the room for years while Sakura was a relative newcomer - it was that Hinata had never bothered with anything but a polite hello before. Sakura was curious what could get the girl to break her silence after so many months. 

It turned out to be nothing too serious. “D-Do you think the test is hard?” she stuttered. 

Sakura was disappointed, but she was anything if not polite. “Two people have already passed,” she pointed out. “And you’re a _Hyuuga_. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

Hinata frowned, the first solid emotion Sakura had seen from her. “That’s not true,” she whispered. Sakura waited for more of an explanation, but Hinata didn’t share it. She just miserably stared at the chalkboard. 

Weird girl. 

And so it went, name after name, pass after pass, until Iruka-sensei called out, “Haruno Sakura.” 

Sakura slid out off the bench, only barely catching a whispered “good luck” from Hinata. She returned the sentiments with a nod, not knowing what else to say; the last few minutes had probably been the most Hinata had spoken to her all year. 

“Don’t be the first one to fail, Forehead,” Ino taunted as Sakura walked by.

“I’d never take away from _your_ special moment, Pig.” 

Iruka-sensei held the door open for her and Sakura stepped into the examination room. It was a simple little affair - two tables, one half-full of new forehead protectors, and another table the teachers were sitting at. Mizuki-sensei gave her a subdued smile as she walked over to the table. 

“This shouldn’t take too long,” Iruka-sensei said as he sat down. “Sakura, you need to make a _bunshin_ with at least two clones. You can start whenever you’d like.”

 _That’s it?_ Sakura wondered. She had expected at least another jutsu, but Mizuki-sensei and Iruka-sensei were waiting on her. She went through the seals - ram, tiger, snake - and two _bunshin_ made of air and smoke _popped_ into place right beside her. They were simple things, like all standard _bunshin_ were, but they were perfect replicas down to the very last detail. 

Iruka-sensei marked something on his clipboard, but he was smiling. “Excellent work, Sakura, like always. You officially graduate to the rank of ‘genin’. Pick whichever _hitai-ite_ you want.”

Sakura skipped over to the table and picked out the shiniest one with the most vibrant strap. She ran her finger along the cold metal surface, tracing the stylized leaf symbol on the front, before taking out her ribbon and replacing it with the forehead protector. Perfect fit!

But Sakrua didn’t forget her manners. She walked back over to the teacher’s table and gave them both a bow. “Thank you, Iruka-sensei, Mizuki-sensei, for your instruction.” 

The younger one, the silver-haired Mizuki, chuckled. “Such a formal young lady. I wish all of our students were as polite as you.”

Iruka nodded. “Or half as motivated. Sakura, your improvement this year has been outstanding. In fact, if your taijutsu scores had just a little better for the year, you would have been the top kunoichi in the class. You nearly caught Ino this year.”

“ _This_ year?” Slowly, Sakura’s smile waned, slithering off her lips like a snake. “Iruka-sensei, this year has been… really difficult for me. I thought I’d just been barely treading water.” Sakura couldn’t actually remember the last time she’d looked at her overall standings; schoolwork had fallen by the wayside, compared to other concerns in her life. 

Iruka and Mizuki shared a look. “Ah, you mean your hospital stay at the start of the year,” Iruka realized. “Sakura, those few missed days meant nothing for your record. I was talking about the incredible growth you’ve shown in both conditioning and practical skills! Your practical application of strategy and subterfuge have been enlightening, so say the least. You’re like a completely different student from the one last year who could only recite answers out of a book.”

“Not that being able to do that isn’t incredible as well,” Mizuki cut in. 

“Mizuki is right,” Iruka hastily added. “It’s a great thing to always have a student ready to answer questions with the exact answer I want, but book intelligence does not necessarily always translate into practical common sense. What I’m saying is that in this last year you’ve become incredibly well-rounded, Sakura. Your teachers haven’t been ignoring the dedication you’ve shown. Mizuki and I have put an Academy commendation into your permanent file.”

A year ago Sakura would have been over the moon at that. She would have ran up to the table and thanked each teacher profusely, asking for a copy to give to her mother. A year ago she would have said an Academy Commendation would have been the perfect way to end her time at school.

Now she just felt sick to her stomach. “I put in a lot of work,” she lied, knowing exactly why she’d gotten better. 

Iruka and Mizuki both praised her for that, the former not stopping until she was back out in the classroom. He called the next person but Sakura didn’t note who it was; she just walked back to her seat, head filling with cotton. Even Ino’s snide comments about her forehead protector couldn’t break through. 

She hated the weight of the thing, because of what it represented. A _bunshin_ wasn’t hard, sure, but who was to say her other life didn’t help her pick up the skill better? Who was to say that she would have even passed without all of the extra work of being a spy? 

_Would I even be sitting here if I had to do it by myself?_ Sakura wondered. It left a horrible taste in her mouth on what was supposed to be the best day of her life. 

Everyone in the class passed, except for Naruto (who was a year older and had failed for his third time). As Iruka dismissed all of the new ninja, happy children all ran out of the building to meet their proud parents waiting outside. Sakura knew her mother was out there too, so she had to go stop lingering by the door eventually, but it took a hard shove from Ino to get her moving. 

“Your mom’s out there with my dad again,” the blond growled. “Don’t they know we’re not friends anymore?”

Sure enough, Sakura spotted her mother chatting with Inoichi, a wide smile on her face. There was a good chance that they would want everyone to get dinner together, in some attempt to heal the rift between their daughters. They tried something like that every few months. 

Usually Sakura would be on the same page as Ino, but her heart wasn’t in it. She just ignored the blond again and plastered a fake smile on her face when her mother saw her. 

“There’s my girl!” Mebuki cooed. She was in her fancy yukata, but she managed to meet Sakura halfway over very admirably. Sakura accepted the hug with forced happiness and forced her body to stay still when her mother ran her fingers over the new forehead protector. “Oh, it makes you look so adult, Sakura! Just like your father. He would be _so_ proud of you!”

“It suits you,” Inoichi added, Ino hanging off his neck. The blond was never shy about being spoiled. “Congratulations.”

Ino frowned over her shoulder at Sakura. “It was an easy test, Papa! I bet she barely passed.”

This would have been the ideal place to drop that she’d nearly beaten Ino in the rankings, but she couldn’t get the words out. 

_They’re not your achievements. You didn’t catch her fairly,_ a little voice told her. She hadn’t learned how to be a better ninja by working hard at the Academy; she’d learned by betraying the village, every day. Her success came at the cost of everyone around her. 

“Sakura?” her mother questioned, running a hand through her hair. “Honey? Are you alright?”

Sakura came back to her senses as the center of attention. Her mother looked down worriedly at her while Inoichi was just frowning slightly at his daughter, the way he always got when they’d start sniping at each other in front of him. “Ino, couldn’t you be-”

“It’s not Ino,” Sakura said, cutting him off. “I’m just not feeling too good. I was… really worried about the exam, before going in.” 

Ino was looking at her strangely, but Sakura hadn’t wanted to make an even bigger deal out of the results. Ino always whined when Inoichi tried to parent her. She caught Sakura’s eye, but didn’t send another barb her way; she just glared at her suspiciously. 

It had gotten a bit awkward with Sakura’s confession and Ino’s sniping, but the two adults shared a look. Sakura noticed her mother’s eyebrows raise significantly at the taller blond. Inoichi smiled at her and then let his daughter squirm out of his arms. “Well, _we_ weren’t worried about either of you,” he said. “In fact, we both thought we could combine our celebrations tonight? It turns out we made reservations at the same restaurant.”

Sakura didn’t believe that for one thin minute and, by her flat expression, Ino didn’t either. “ _Really,_ Papa? I just graduated! That means I don’t have to see her giant forehead every day anymore!”

 _Oh_. Oh there were just some things Sakura couldn’t let sit, bad mood or no bad mood. “Ino’s right, Yamanaka-san," She added, sweetly. "And I’m not so sure a restaurant could find a feed trough for Ino on such short notice.”

Inoichi actually had to catch his daughter around the waist after that one and Mebuki let out an angry, “ _Sakura!_ ”, but seeing the murderous look on Ino’s face was worth it. It even made Sakura’s mood improve more and more the faster Ino turned red. 

“I am so sorry, Ino-chan,” Mebuki apologized because Ino had always been a little angel to her. The bright, shining star that had dragged her shy little daughter out of the house for years and years. Sakura knew the woman still saw a little six-year-old Ino whenever she looked at the blond. “I don’t know where she gets her manners from.”

“You know, that headband means you're both adults now,” Inoichi said. “You may have to work with each other on life-or-death missions. Can you two do that without constantly sniping at each other? You could even be put on the same team tomorrow.”

Ino and Sakura both looked askew at each other. It wasn’t a _completely horrible_ question. Sakura didn’t think she’d ever be on a team with Ino, because there were so many more boys enrolled in the Academy than girls, but there was a good chance that, at some point, their teams would have to work together. 

The blond looked away first. “Don’t really want to think about that.”

“We could pretend to get along for long enough,” Sakura added. “Probably.”

Inoichi actually seemed upset, which was unusual for him. He would normally have already let the subject drop by now and let the two keep sniping at each other, but today he was looking at Mebuki for every cue. It was starting to unnerve Sakura a bit. “Don’t you think two years is enough time to stay mad at each other? I thought that, since you two are graduating, maybe you could put the whole thing behind you.”

“You won’t have that boy nearby anymore after today.” Sakura stared at her mother, betrayed. She had told the woman that in confidence! “Can’t we have a celebration dinner without such a silly thing getting in the way?”

Ino shot Sakura a look, as if the two adults digging their heels in was somehow _her_ fault. “ _Papa_ ,” she whined. 

But, amazingly, the man resisted. “I just think it’s easier to combine the celebrations. Restaurants will probably be packed because of the graduation and we’d be lucky to get a table separately.” 

There was no way out. Resigned, Sakura just nodded, even as Ino opened her mouth to counterattack. The crack in the girl’s ranks was their undoing; Mebuki and Inoichi verbally bowled over them after that. “We have a great barbeque place reserved,” Inoichi said, either slipping up or not caring that he’d revealed everything had been planned in advance. “You two will love it. Choza always picks it when it’s his turn to pay for dinner after a mission.”

As much as it was ‘their’ day, though, Ino and Sakura were left to their own devices as Mebuki and Inoichi talked to each other, rather than the two sullen girls following in their wake. Sakura wasn’t stupid or blind, either - she was watching her mother’s happy face like a hawk. Ever since Sakura had fallen out with Ino, Mebuki seemed to spend a lot of time at the Yamanaka flower shop. Every week there would be fresh cuttings in the house. Sakura would have bet good ryo that the two adults saw each other now just as much as they had when their daughters were the best of friends. 

“Your mom is hanging off my dad like you try and hang off Sasuke-kun,” Ino hissed at her. “Make her _stop_!”

“Tell your dad to stop telling those lame jokes then!” Sakura hissed back. She didn’t like the way her mother was smiling at the jounin one bit. 

It turned out that the restaurant Inoichi took them to was a pretty popular place. There was indoor and outdoor seating, which was all full, and it was lucky that Inoichi had a reservation or else they would have never gotten a table. As it was they still had to sit outside and Ino and Sakura had to scrunch right up next to each other. After Ino elbowed her in the ribs one too many times, Sakura nearly pushed the girl out of her chair, which led to another shouting match that was only broken up by some very creative threats from Mebuki. 

Sullenly, Sakura sipped at her soft drink. They were pretty new things to Konoha, but the sugary drinks were popular with just about everyone and they were apparently a big deal in the Capital. Her only consolation to the night was that Ino didn’t look much happier. The girl had been sulking since they’d sat down, petulantly sipping on ‘just a water, _thanks’_ as she glared at Sakura’s mother like her world collapsing was Haruno Mebuki’s fault. 

“Inoichi! What a surprise!”

It didn’t take a ninja to see that there was little surprise on Akimichi Choza’s face as his family came out to the patio dining. The staff were even ready to push another table up to Inoichi’s. “And Mebuki, good to see you and your daughter!”

Choji waved, which Sakura felt obligated to return. Ino just continued to sulk and only grunted when the boy sat down next to her. It didn’t seem to bother him too much. Sakura remembered that Ino was friends, via her father, with both Choji and-

“So here’s where the party is!” Nara Shikaku exclaimed. He didn’t even bother trying to make it seem like a random thing his family had found them at one of Konoha’s dozen barbeque restaurants. And, once again, the restaurant’s staff was ready with another table. At least Nara Shikamaru looked properly inconvenienced by this whole thing as he slumped down into a chair by Choji while their fathers all slapped each other on the backs and made general spectacles out of themselves. 

It was awkward, though, for Sakura. She was alone on her side of the table, a good little distance from her mother, as she had scooted herself closer to Nara Yoshino to join the conversation about how _wonderful_ all of their kids were and how _bright_ the future was. That left Sakura staring blankly over at Ino, Choji, and Shikamaru, not quite understanding how she had gotten into this clan mess and not willing to break the ice with two of Ino’s friends who she had never really hung out with. 

“So is your mom, like, marrying Inoichi-san?” Choji wondered. 

Ino’s head hit the table with a loud _thunk_ . “If you even _think_ that again, Choji, I will stab you in the face with a fork,” she groaned/threatened. The boy actually looked nervous, so Sakura wondered if Ino had a history of making good on weird threats. 

Shikamaru had a little smile on his face, though. “If she’s going to be your step-sister, do you think we’ll have to teach her the family combination jutsu?”

Another _thunk_ . Ino didn’t bother with the threat this time and Shikamaru didn’t seem like the type of kid to be cowed by Ino, anyway. “She’s _not_ my step-sister.”

“I’m a _Haruno_ ,” Sakura interjected, feeling like she should say _something_. “I’m not getting wrapped up in your clan drama.”

“Could be _your_ ‘clan drama’ pretty soon,” Shikamaru countered, nodding toward her mother. Sakura looked and _oh god in heaven she was making eyes at Ino’s father_. 

She was going to be sick. Mothers shouldn’t make those kinds of faces once they were _old_. It was horrible and the worst thing Sakura had ever seen in her young life.

“Yamanaka Sakura. Doesn’t have too bad a ring to it, does it?” Shikamaru asked Ino. 

“I refuse to talk about this,” Ino muttered, putting her hands over her ears, face still on the table. “I refuse to acknowledge this in any way, shape, or form that my family could be polluted by Billboard Brow.”

And then, just because he hadn’t already done enough tonight, Choji had **another** thought. “What if they have a kid?” 

Worlds collided. Total planetary destruction. Billions died. No survivors. It was enough to make Ino jump out of her seat and point furiously over the table at a _very_ sick-to-her-stomach Sakura to declare, “I draw the line _there_ , Forehead!”

She finally got the attention of the adults (not that Sakura believed for a moment the three jounin at the table hadn’t heard every word). “Ino, sit down,” Inoichi sighed, looking wryly at the amused faces of his teammates. 

“Forehead’s had this coming, Papa! She-”

But Ino never got to finish her thought because something flapped down onto the middle of the table. It was a tiny little sparrow, jumping around amidst the drinks and entrees. 

Sakura knew that it was no mere bird. She had found out months ago that the chunin and jounin in the village communicated using birds, and that different colorations or different species meant different things. She hadn’t completely cracked the strange code yet, but it wasn’t some random happenstance it had landed on the middle of a table with three jounin. 

Shikaku whispered something to his wife and got out of his seat. “Sorry, kids,” he said, looking down the table at the four new genin. “Business. Ino, Sakura, Choji - congratulations on passing. Shikamaru? We’ll talk when I get home. Mind your mother.” Then, he was gone in a swirl of leaves. 

Choza said much of the same and disappeared as well, while Inoichi looked torn, lingering. 

“Mebuki and I will watch the kids,” Yoshino assured him. 

The jounin nodded, sending Mebuki a small smile which made both Sakura and Ino blanch, before following the rest of his team. 

Without an audience, Ino flopped back into her chair. She was pouting, which was usually a sign the blond had given up and was ready to just get done with whatever unpleasant thing she had to do. “This was supposed to be _my_ celebration.”

“I was going to get some extra sleep before tomorrow,” Shikamaru complained. “How do you think I feel? Mom and Dad basically kidnapped me from the Academy. Aren’t we supposed to be adults now?”

They both looked at Choji, who was still looking through the menu. “What?” he asked, glancing up at them. “I like free food.”

 _This is my life from now on_ , Sakura thought with horror. Ino, Shikamaru, and Choji - a brat, a lazy asshole, and someone who only thought about what his next meal would be. Mebuki _actually wanted_ to willingly tie herself to this particular cart. 

Well. Sakura didn’t have to do it. And there might be something better going on, anyway. 

“Mom,” she called out. “That stomachache I was feeling back at the Academy hasn’t gone away yet. Can I skip dinner?” Two sets of betrayed eyes turned on her, but Sakura didn’t care. “I don’t know if I can keep anything down.”

Mebuki leaned over and put her hand on Sakura’s forehead, checking her temperature. The girl fluctuated her chakra so it would seem warmer; a useful trick she’d learned months ago. It had the desired effect - her mother looked downright worried now, but she was glancing at the other children. “Are you sure that-”

Sakura was already sliding back from the table. “I think I _really_ need to lay down,” she pushed, making sure to sway a little to really sell the lie. “I don’t want to ruin everyone else’s night. I can get home by myself; it’s only a few blocks away.”

“Well, if you’re _sure_...”

Oh, she was sure, Sakura told her mother. She walked out of the little gate to the restaurant’s patio and only stopped her act when she was a few buildings away, straightening up and walking home with angry purpose. 

She hadn’t wanted to sit down for dinner in the first place, anyway, even if it had just been her and her mother. It was hard to even look at the woman after so many lies. Sakura knew that Mebuki could at least sense something was wrong, and it made it that much worse - she was a horrible ninja _and_ a horrible daughter. 

And _Inoichi._ Sakura wasn’t like Ino; she didn’t want her mother to be alone forever. Her father had died ten years ago, after all. It was good that she was willing to try and be happy again. But did it have to be a jounin who worked at the Interrogation and Torture division?

If Sakura had to move into the Yamanaka compound, she knew she wouldn’t make it back out alive. 

_And I get a jounin-sensei tomorrow,_ she remembered. Two jounin would be watching her now. 

What did Kabuto expect her to do? 

He would have no sympathy. Sakura would have to keep up her reports until someone caught her at them and then everything would fall down around her head. At that point, Kabuto’s contingency policy would be a _mercy_. 

Sakura didn’t bother with her front door. Her mother wasn’t inside, so there was no one to yell at her for jumping straight up to her balcony window and letting herself in. Safely inside, she ripped off her new forehead protector and threw it at the wall, feeling a little better at the satisfying clatter it made. 

She fell back onto her bed, exhausted. As she drifted off, Sakura wondered what the summons for the jounin could have been about. 


	4. Chapter 4

" _ **Y**_ _ou have to make a choice - your morals, or your service."_

" _You have to make a choice - your place in this village, or your continued existence."_

" _You have to make a choice - your life, or your loyalty."_

Sakura's eyes shot open. Frantic, she sat up, looking around at her shadowed room, huffing and puffing like she'd run a marathon in her sleep. Slowly it began to dawn on her that she had once again had _the_ nightmare and that she was safe at home and not in the hospital; that Kabuto wasn't there, making all kinds of evil demands of her again. His freakish glowing hands that could snip her life away were across the village, far away from her.

Two days, two nightmares. The dreams hadn't come so close together in months. Sighing, Sakura fell back into her bed. She was hot and sweaty even though the early-autumn nights were growing cooler and couldn't get comfortable on her sheets. A look at the clock made her groan; only ten at night.

Tomorrow was an incredibly important day - her official photograph and then a meeting with the actual _hokage_ \- so Sakura knew she needed to get back to sleep… but she couldn't keep her eyes shut. Every time she tried to force her eyelids down they would spring back up; the irrational part of her mind whispered that she was being watched, that the moment she drifted off the horrid memories would drag her right back into their clutches.

So sleep, for now, was definitely out.

Sakura swung her legs out of bed. _At least I can fix the heat_ , she thought, walking over to the glass doors leading out to her balcony. It was horrible home security as far as living in a ninja village went, but tonight she was pretty thankful for the little balcony. Sakura tugged open the curtains and enjoyed the chilly fall breeze that instantly rolled into her room. The village was quiet, as it usually was this late, and the only sounds were the natural calls of nocturnal animals living nearby.

But, just as she settled back down onto her bed, something tugged at her stomach. A tiny flicker of chakra flared like a silent alarm, making the small hairs on Sakura's neck stand up - it had come from one of her alarm seals on the home's roof. The feeling wasn't unique or unknown to her, because her house, like every other house, was part of the unofficial "ninja roadway" that ran all over the village. During the day she would get dozens of little warnings like that from her Academy-taught alarm sealing array on the roof and she normally just ignored them.

Except for this time there was one alarm, and then another, and then another. Sakura was getting pulses every few seconds as ninja leaped to her house and then left, just as quickly as they'd intruded. It was an incredibly strange thing, especially this late at night.

Pushing down the sliver of fear Sakura always felt when paranoia started to rear its ugly head, she got dressed and crept out to the balcony. In the moonlight Sakura could see the flickering silhouettes of ninja moving on top of other houses in the neighborhood, but even as she watched they got more and more infrequent. Whatever they were doing they were apparently nearly done with her street.

Sakura weighed her options. On the one hand, she had already made her report to Kabuto. Just yesterday, in fact; he wouldn't need new information for at least a week. She could just slip her clothes back off and try and go back to bed.

On the other… her eyes flicked over to the bookshelf where her new reporting scroll was hidden. If she reported something to her _new_ superior quickly, then they would be off her back right from the start. She could concentrate fully on her new team without having to risk herself for something to put into a report later. _And_ they might give her even **more** latitude and freedom, which could mean they would slip up and she could find a way to wriggle from beneath their thumb.

What decided it was feeling a flicker of chakra break her alarm array and linger. Sakura hopped up onto the railing of her balcony, and then shimmied up the drainpipe of her house. It wasn't elegant, but she did manage to catch the ninja crouching atop her building before they could leave.

Sakura even recognized her visitor - Tomoko Suzume. Her puffy head of curly hair was easily outlined against the streetlight behind Sakura's house as she looked all around. She had been the kunoichi-skills teacher from the Academy from when Sakura was younger, teaching things like flower arranging. It was weird seeing her in her actual chunin vest.

"Suzume-sensei?" Sakura called out, realizing that she'd gotten the drop on the woman.

Suzume didn't jump, but her head whipped around so fast it made Sakura nearly flinch right off the slanted roof. " _Sakura_? Is that you?"

Sakura crawled back up the shingles, finding the familiar handholds she'd notched into them, and scrambling up to the flat part of her house with ease. "It's me," she whispered, because whispering seemed like the right thing to do. "You're on top of my house. I have alarms." She pulled up a loose tile at the corner of the flat part of the roof, which had a written _fuda_ under it.

Suzume leaned over to inspect the seal and Sakura couldn't help but feel like she was being graded. "Very excellent work!" the woman exclaimed, smiling. But then she caught herself. "But you should be back inside! There's a dangerous criminal at large!"

"Is that why my alarm has been going off every few seconds?" Sakura asked, ignoring the advice. "There were so many ninja the alarm woke me up. Who is everyone looking for?"

"That's… well, you might actually know…" Suzume was clearly fighting with herself over how much to say, and Sakura stayed quiet. She'd learned to _never_ help people talk themselves out of giving up information, and teachers loved to answer questions, inside the classroom or not. In a moment, Sakura's patience was rewarded with, "Do you know where Uzumaki Naruto is?"

" _Naruto_?" Sakura parroted. Naruto was the criminal everyone in the village was looking for? Could Inoichi, Shikaku, and Choza have called in to find Naruto, earlier at dinner? "Suzume-sensei, what could _Naruto_ have done to get this much attention? He's not even a ninja!"

Suzume shifted, letting out a little murmur of discomfort. "Well, I don't know how much I should be saying," she started, hesitating, "but, as one of his classmates, you may be able to give us an idea of where to search. He stole something **incredibly** dangerous from the Hokage - a scroll of sealed and forbidden techniques - and disappeared. Most senior ninja not on duty tonight have been recalled to catch him."

 _A scroll of sealing!_ Sakura's mind ignored the rest and latched onto that like a life preserver. A scroll of sealing… which may have something in it about _breaking_ seals.

Sakura had to get it. She needed to get it, because if she could study it, if it had some means of breaking seals, then she could _finally_ dig herself out of this hole.

"I really don't know Naruto that well, Suzume-sensei," Sakura told her, mind already wandering to all the different places the boy could be. "I think I'm just going to try and go back to sleep so I don't bother anyone."

She didn't bother to see if the chunin said anything back to her. As quickly as she could, Sakura slid back down to her balcony and swung into her room. _I need… I need things…_ Sakura's thoughts were scattered as she groped around in the dark for her weapons pouch. The only thing she paid attention to was the alarm on her roof which finally stopped transmitting chakra back to her, which meant that the teacher had moved on.

Sakura hopped the railing of her balcony and landed in the street. Naruto, Naruto, Naruto - Sakura tried to think of where the boy would be. _If I'd just failed my exam for the third time and stole a scroll from the Hokage, where would I go?_ she thought. Certainly not back to wherever it was Naruto lived; that was probably the first place anyone had looked. Not the school, either, or any of Naruto's favorite places (which was good, because Sakura had no idea what the loud boy liked to do in his spare time other than annoy her for a date).

 _He couldn't have left the village, because of the great tracking barrier._ Iruka-sensei had taught them about the massive jutsu that protected the village last year and Ino had gloated that it was _her_ family that ran the jutsu. Sakura very much doubted that a failure like Naruto could get past _those_ kinds of defenses. That still left a few possibilities in the village, though. He could have found some abandoned building to hide out in, which would be impossible for Sakura to track him to; Konoha was huge.

But, if he ran to the forest then she had a chance. The entire village was ringed by a massive green belt of trees, acres upon acres deep. There were training areas, but those would have already been looked at. No, the best places were in the wild areas of the forest, where people only went to not be seen.

Luckily, Sakura knew one of those places right off the top of her head. Last year, during a field trip, Naruto had run off from the main group. It'd taken Iruka and Mizuki-sensei an hour to find him, but Naruto hadn't been scared and he hadn't just gotten lost. He'd hid out there, like he had known the area. It's how he'd stayed hidden for so long.

Sakura ran along the street that would lead to the forest the quickest. When she saw the trees she leapt up into them and went as fast as her legs could carry her. If she was quick, if she was right, then she could find Naruto before anyone else and get the scroll away from him. He was the dead-last in the class, after all. He shouldn't be any trouble.

And she _had_ to get that scroll. Nothing in her life was more important than getting that scroll.

Her legs ached and her heart thudded - the same heart that had a thin seal on it, ready to strangle the very life out of her at the snape of Yakushi Kabuto's fingers.

* * *

**Loyalty Chapter 4**

_**K**_ _onoha Hospital, One Year Prior_

The fluorescent lights were horrible - that was the first thought Sakura had when her dreamless sleep finally broke. Everything felt _light_ , like her body was full of air and could just float off into the sky, but right now the light was her biggest enemy. She tried to raise her hand to block it out, but something tugged at her, only letting her get her arm so high before it hurt.

"Oh, she's awake."

Who was that? The voice sounded so familiar, but the thoughts were slipping out of Sakura's head like water through her fingers. She rolled her head over, realizing that she was drooling but still not able to care, and tried to focus on the blurry outline of a person standing over her. Sudden fear spiked through her before the face sharpened into a concerned Umino Iruka.

Sakura relaxed back down into her pillow. "Iruka-sensei," she murmured, feeling safe. Her teacher was here, wherever _here_ was. She lifted her arm again. "Something… something on my arm? I don't…"

The teacher caught her hand before she could start tugging. "It's the IV drip," he gently told her. "Careful, or you'll make it fall out."

IV drip? Sakura clenched her eyes closed, trying to will them into being more focused when she opened them again. Now she could see it - a slender plastic tube running from the bottom of her arm to a bag of clear fluids next to her bed. Numbly, Sakura realized this was the first time she'd ever had an IV, but she was too comfortable to care.

Iruka, though, clearly thought she should know. "You were bitten by a snake," he told her. "They found you out in the training area, delirious. Sakura, are you listening to me? You nearly died."

It sounded serious, so Sakura forced her head to nod, but she didn't feel scared. In fact, she didn't feel much of anything. Her body felt like a puppet she was pulling around with strings. She could move her fingers, or her hand, but everything had a lag, like her brain had to physically shout at her body to move before it would move.

Did snake venom do that? Sakura didn't know, but it must have because she'd never felt so strange in her whole life. She opened her mouth and marveled at the unfamiliar feeling of _speaking_. Nothing felt right, from the little ridges she'd gotten familiar with on the back of her front teeth to the weight and shape of the muscle. "A snake bit me?" she slurred, voice scratchy like those were the first words she'd ever said. "Where?"

She felt the pressure of Iruka's fingertips on the blanket covering her legs. "Right on the calf of your right leg. The doctors told me it must have been a large one, from the size of the bite. Your team found you in the forest, delirious, at the end of the day." The teacher sounded strained and heartbroken. He gingerly squeezed her hand. "I… they didn't know you had gone missing, Sakura. They thought I'd kept you during lunch and I thought you were just running errands for them. The fault is mine. I should have been more observant."

Sakura's fingers fumbled around under the thin hospital cover until she felt the outline of a thick gauze pad on her leg, right above her knee. She'd gotten bitten by a snake? Something about that didn't seem right, but Iruka was looking at her with such concern that it had to be so, didn't it?

"Thanks for saving me, Iruka-sensei," Sakura rasped, because what else could she say?

"Sakura, no. I didn't. Yakushi-kun did." A blink and then, out of thin air, the inky silhouette of someone detaching themselves from the far wall. Iruka didn't even look worried as the smiling, bespeckled face of Yakushi Kabuto came into focus over his shoulder.

He smiled at her, but it made Sakura's blood run cold. "We were all worried about you," he said. "I'm relieved that we brought you to the hospital in time."

Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, _wrong_. Sakura could have believed it had just been a snake bite, that everything had been a fever dream, except for Kabuto's eyes. She would never, could never, forget those red, beady eyes narrowed in gleeful cruelty as they had been when he'd snatched her up by the neck in the forest.

It was all a lie, but Kabuto was all smiles and kindness. He didn't know. Didn't realize. Sakura forced herself to smile back at him. "Thank you so much, Kabuto-san," she said, amazed at how even her voice was. She was going to wait until Kabuto was gone and then she would tell Iruka-sensei _everything_. About the snake, about the spying, about being attacked. All she had to do was play stupid until then.

Kabuto wasn't even really watching her, either. His eyes had slid off to the side. Fooling him would be easy now. It would be-

 _Beep. Beep. Beep_.

The _machine_. A heart monitor, or so Sakura remembered. It was hooked up to her pulse and Kabuto was looking straight at its readout. And when Sakura noticed him noticing, the beeping grew more frantic and closer together. Thinking about it, trying to get it to stop, made her heart gallop faster and faster, louder and louder, until it seemed like the little electric pulses were all she could hear in the room.

"Haruno-san, you seem upset," Kabuto said. "If you are not careful, the venom still in your system could spread faster than the antivenom in your IV can neutralize it."

 _Beep. Beep. Beep_.

"He's joking with you," Iruka assured her. "The medics here are all very good at their work. Why, Yakushi-kun's father works here. I believe he was the one who even attended to you."

 _.Beep_. _Beep._

Iruka frowned at the machine. "I think you may need some more rest, Sakura. I need to give your mother a visit anyway; she's got to be worried about where you are." He turned to look the devil in the eye. "Could you keep an eye on her, Yakushi-kun?"

Sakura was worried for one horrifying moment that she would be left alone with the grey-haired genin.

The thought of that _terrified_ her.

But then Kabuto just calmly walked up to Iruka-sensei and chopped him in the back of the neck. The chunin slumped onto the bed, then rolled off onto the floor. "Help!" Sakura screamed, as loud as she possibly could, and only just beat out the blaring of her machines. Surely in all of that cacophony of noise someone would show up and arrest him? The hospital had guards, didn't it?

But no one ran into the room. Kabuto just calmly stepped over Iruka's limp body and sat down in his chair. Sakura screamed and screamed, her throat going raw from the effort, but the teen didn't try and stop her - he just stared until all her breath was gone.

"Done?" he asked.

Sakura scooted as far from that side of her bed as she could, dragging her IV with her. The machines made even more noise which Kabuto silenced with a casual flick of a switch hidden on the instrument panel. Now the silence was palpable as he simply _watched_ \- head cocked, arms loosely crossed - Sakura have a panic attack.

"You remember," he finally stated. "Interesting. How much? When does your memory stop?"

When Sakura jumped off her bed, IV ripping out of her arm, he was ready. One heartbeat he was in the chair, the next he was in front of her. With casual violence he doubled her over with a punch to the gut that sent the room spinning. Sakura's entire body shook as she hit the floor and she dry heaved up a few specks of water. Never in her life had she felt something so painful.

Kabuto grabbed her hair and dragged her back up on the bed. "Tell me precisely when your memory ended," he ordered her again. His voice never rose in pitch, even as he delivered another vicious shot to her stomach that shook the entire bed. "Tell me."

" _Snake_ ," Sakura gurgled, because she was retching.

His spindly fingers reached into her hair, almost lovingly. They gathered a cord of hair half as thick as her pinkie finger. "That doesn't tell me much," Kabuto told her, tugging at the hairs. "I will ask once more: at what point do your memories begin?"

" _Exam!_ " she sobbed, which turned into another scream as Kabuto yanked out what he'd gathered up. Shaking, Sakura curled up into a ball, head tucked down to her chest, waiting for another hit or more pulling. But that didn't come. She opened a watery eye and peaked out through her fingers.

He was walking back to the chair. He wasn't looking at her, or anything in particular, but was instead staring off into space. When he sat back down his face wasn't angry, but curious.

"So, you remember being caught in the forest by me. You remember the snake and the mission." Kabuto might have even been pleased, although that didn't make Sakura feel any better about her situation. "How interesting. Well, I think new arrangements will have to be made."

"A-Arrangements?" Sakura whimpered. "Are you… are you going to _kill_ me?"

Kabuto shook his head, like he found the very question distasteful. "That would be a waste, Haruno-san," he firmly told her. "You cannot be wasteful with opportunities such as this, even if they aren't what you expected. No, you have to _use_ useful tools when they fall into your lap." He lazily pointed at her. "To me, you are now one such tool. You know what I am?"

Not wanting anymore pain, Sakura immediately answered, "A spy. You're a spy."

"Correct. And you managed to infiltrate a meeting of spies, which I found to be incredibly interesting. How did you get into my sealing jutsu? How did I not detect you listening to my report? Those kinds of talents are rare, Haruno-san. I wish to use them for my own means."

"I'm not going to be a spy!" Sakura snapped on instinct. Her eyes went wide when her brain caught up with her mouth, though.

The teen smiled at her. "That is exceptional bravery," he praised. Then, as if he were discussing the weather, he added, "The very model of a Konoha shinobi. But I feel like you should realize this - if you do not agree to my demands, you will not leave this hospital room."

Sakura tried to process that as Kabuto picked back up her IV stand. He calmly rehung the bag of liquid, straightened out the tube, and motioned for her to come back over. When Sakura didn't immediately comply, Kabuto leaned over the bed, grabbed her by the neck, and dragged her back to his side. Sakura thrashed and kicked, but Kabuto's grip was pure iron. In his other hand he pinched something on her shoulder that made Sakura's whole right arm limp and he easily slid the IV back in.

"Are you thinking about your choice?" Kabuto asked again. He reached into his weapon pouch and pulled out a small bottle of clear liquid and a short needle. With one hand and incredible dexterity, he fluidly got the needle into the top of the bottle. The liquid bubbled up into the syringe.

Sakura's nostrils flared when the little needle poked into her IV bag. "This is pure western coral snake venom," he told her. "This much could kill an elephant. Your intravenous fluid is being fed into your cephalic vein, which flows directly to your heart. In half an hour this dosage will cause your brain functions to slow, and then bring about seizures. Untreated, you will lapse into a coma tonight and parish. Your medical report will state a hyper-allergic reaction to the antitoxin. It will be found to be a bad batch, not properly mixed."

He twisted Sakura's head around so she was looking up at him. "Your decision? Will you give up your place in this village, or your life?"

Surely someone was coming? This couldn't be how it ended, could it? Just that morning she had started her last year at the Academy; she wasn't even a full ninja. Her eyes frantically tracked to the bit of Iruka-sensei she could see on the floor. He was playing possum; he had to be playing possum. He was _Iruka-sensei_. He was the strongest ninja she knew, because he could hit every shuriken target and break up any fight without breaking a sweat.

Someone would save her. Someone had to be here, ready to swoop in. Or this was a test. Something like this didn't happen to kids.

Sakura managed a grin, like she'd seen from the ninja in the movies. "Shinobi Rule #2: Never betray the village," she said.

Any second now Iruka-sensei would get up and stop this, Sakura was sure.

Kabuto's thumb evenly pushed down the plunger on the needle. The clear liquid quickly mixed with her IV. The needle left the bag with a small tug once it was empty.

"I must say that I'm impressed," Kabuto said, calmly unscrewing the needle from the plunger and packing both away into his pouch. "I knew that the ninja of Konoha were obstinate, but I never imagined its children were as well. You've earned my respect, Haruno-san." He flipped a switch on the machines and they came back to life with a litany of blinking lights and beeps.

 _. ._ Her heart monitor was on again and it betrayed her racing pulse. Kabuto didn't even seem to notice or care; he just sat back down in the chair and watched her, silent. Like the teachers at the Academy had watched the room while the kids were taking an exam.

But Sakura wasn't going to blink. She _knew_ that Iruka-sensei was going to be up at any second, now that Kabuto had all but confessed everything. The room door would fly open and Mizuki-sensei would be there too. All she had to do was wait.

_Beep. Beep… . Beep._

But as the minutes dragged on, the machine started sounding strange. The beeps were getting erratic and Sakura found it harder and harder to breath. Her skin was starting to burn all over her body, like she was laying too close to a fire, and she was sweating. She tried to make sense of the machines over Kabuto's shoulder, but her vision was starting to blur as well.

"Would you like some morphine?" Kabuto asked her. "Coral snake venom is a neurotoxin. It attacks your central nervous system and makes pain receptors fire all over your body, causing the ghost pain you are feeling."

"I don't want anything you ha-!" Sakura suddenly gasped, cutting off her reply. She'd lost all of her breath right in the middle of talking and her lungs weren't listening to her when she tried to draw in more.

_Beep… Beep… … Beep._

Lights flashed in front of her eyes; the bland fluorescents became strobe lights for a few seconds, dazzling Sakura with their blues and reds. Black spots were popping in and out like fireworks. Sakura fell back to the bed, clutching her chest, but it wasn't moving. All she could feel was the erratic dance of her heart slapping at the back of her ribcage.

No one was coming, were they? Iruka-sensei wasn't going to get up.

This was _real_. This was _happening_.

_Beep._

_Beep._

…

…

…

_Beep._

Everything was a struggle to move, but Sakura's hand crawled over her chest like a spider until her shaky fingers could get around the IV in her skin. Kabuto didn't even move to stop her when she yanked it out, and it didn't bring her any relief from the wild surges of both breathlessness and pain wracking her body.

The teen leaned in. "Are you having second thoughts?" he asked, sounding interested. "Or, I wonder, if this was simply instinct finally kicking in? Haruno-san, are you still with me?"

Sakura's teeth chattered, which made no sense because she was _burning up_. "S-Stop," she managed to grunt out.

"Ah, so you are still here. But how can I trust you?" Kabuto asked, leaning back. He shook his head. "I must say, I'm a bit disappointed. You truly had my respect until this moment, dying like a true Konoha-nin rather than betray your village. Did the reality of dying hit you? The limits of your own mortality?" Sakura's hand had shakily reached out toward him while he spoke, but Kabuto gently folded it back over Sakura's chest.

"Children often think they are the main characters of their own stories, and they've been told their whole lives that the main character is immortal and could always escape by perseverance or wit. But you, Haruno-san, are going to die. The poison is too far along."

Sakura's hand shot out with the last of her strength and caught Kabuto's shirt before he could lean all the way back. He looked down at her, at the shaking hand, and sighed. "I understand your fear. But I simply can't trust you, can I? Think about my position, Haruno-san. Would you trust the word of a dying girl?"

"Don't… don't want to die… please…" Her throat was closing up. She gripped him harder, tugging as much as she could. She would do anything to live. Whatever he said, whatever he wanted. No one was going to help her but him!

_Please please please please please please please_

The teen held her pleading look for so long Sakura thought he was going to watch her die. But when he pulled her hand away this time, he didn't put it back on the bed. Instead he reached into his pouch with his free hand and fished out another vial and another needle.

"I'm sure this is a bad idea for me," he murmured as, with expert dexterity, he filled the needle with one hand.

But he didn't put it into her arm. Instead, the needle slammed down straight into her chest. Sakura gagged out a scream as a new pain blossomed- a scratchy, sharp pain that burned away even the fire racing through her body.

Kabuto ripped the needle out of her after everything was pumped out of it, but his hand pressed back onto her chest. He pushed, hard, flexing her ribcage and glowed with flickering blue flames. "I'm not sure if you'll survive," he told her, still sounding disappointed, "but your life is not your own now, nor is your loyalty. They belong to me and my master. If you betray us as you betrayed Konoha, you will find us less forgiving."

 _Something_ latched onto her heart. Sakura felt it; gasped in pain like Kabuto had put his hand into her chest and _squeezed._ Even when he took his hands away Sakura could feel the pressure. Every beat of her heart pushed against it.

"A seal," Kabuto told her as Sakura clutched her chest. "At a whim, I can activate it and crush the chambers of your heart. If you reveal information detrimental to me, it will activate. If you non-verbally communicate with others about your duties, it will activate. You now mine and my master's tool, to be used and thrown away at our convenience."

A spasm wracked Sakura's body. She felt nauseous again, but she couldn't roll over in the bed. Every muscle in her body tensed and then relaxed at random and it was all she could do to fold into herself.

"I will come to visit you again to outline your new life," Kabuto said, ignoring the seizures Sakura was falling into, "should you survive the battle between the neurotoxin in your system and the antivenom I put directly into your heart. If you feel you wish to die instead of suffering such pain, simply try and tell Iruka-san anything we discussed. The seal would be less painful than toxic shock."

Sakura could only writhe in pain as her body spasmed out of control; she didn't notice Kabuto setting Iruka back in his chair, or the nurses that came in half an hour later to find her curled up on the floor, halfway under her bed and delirious. Or her mother, who was finally informed of her condition via an anonymous phone call, and who stayed by her bedside for the next three days as she suffered from an inexplicable coma brought on by a bad reaction to the hospital's antivenom.

But, even when the toxic fire had burned itself out of her, leaving only painful memories, Sakura did not breathe a word about Yakushi Kabuto, the snake in the woods, or the seal she could feel on her heart every time the monitor beeped.

Because she was **alive**. And as long as she was quiet, she would continue to live.

And as long as she still lived, there was a chance to escape.


End file.
